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THE CRUSHED VELVET MIASMA
by Mike Nettleton & Carolyn J. Rose
SynergEbooks, November 2006
302 pages
$15.99
ISBN: 0744311403


Buy in the UK | Buy in Canada

I liked the first book in this series but this one, well, all I can say is that it tries too hard. The hero Paladin tries too hard to be counter-culture, the authors try too hard to show how edgy he is and the constant activity tired me out.

I've known Paladins and guys like him and while I couldn't live that way, I have some respect for those who just can't fit in. Paladin tries to stay off all the radars – no real work record, no papers, barter instead of paychecks and a healthy disdain for 'government' in all forms. He'd be a 1960s burn-out in some peoples' books but he's very much a survivor.

If you knew Paladin or if you were Paladin, you might not remember things that well. I do; I remember the bands, how the music could make you feel. I remember the promise and the disappointments, the clothes, the good and bad. So trying to pass something off on me is hard; sure my 60s wasn't your 60s but I can spot the phony TV show, set-up, movie like THAT.

My problems with THE CRUSHED VELVET MIASMA start with the annoying Eugene on page one. Eugene is Paladin's son whom he just sort of well, they just found each other and while Paladin is not exactly trying out for Ward Cleaver, Eugene is annoying and self-absorbed. On page two he's "wheedling", something really unwelcome in a teenager. And he continues to wheedle throughout the book. Eugene (full name "Eugene Springfield" what, the cool names like Milton-Freewater, Tillamook or "Paisley" were taken?) has a girlfriend, Crystal, who – wait for it, falls for Thor and goes off with him. Right. He's so dreamy.

Oh hell. I just realized the problem. THE CRUSHED VELVET MIASMA probably is intended as satire and I'm so bad at satire. I can't read it well. I naively read along thinking what I'm being presented is intended as straight story. The way most everything in this book is exaggerated? I missed it again. And I swear, I just realized it while writing this review. The muffins should have tipped me off.

Okay for the record, the plot involves the reunion of The Velvet Miasma, a band for which Pal was, for a short time, road manager. Thor, the lead and a real piece of work, shows up, all manicured and face-lifted, wanting to get the band back together. This would mean finding Maggie Thunder, "the chick singer", the stuff that straight (and not-so-straight) dreams were apparently made of.

Maggie, part Janis Joplin, part Grace Slick, part Michelle Philllips, as Paladin describes her, went from hot and sexy to "fearful and secretive" during the band's short lifespan. It was pretty obvious what happened, and it's surprising that Paladin, who for all his proclamations and dumb behavior is pretty clued in, couldn't figure it out. During this attempt to bring the band back to life, with Eugene filling in, Thor is found dead and Eugene is a suspect for the murder. As would be, I would suggest, the entire population of Portland, Oregon or just about anyone who's ever spent five minutes around the guy.

The story involves all sorts of other 'characters' including a guy who talks to his hand (its name is Wanda. Don't ask. Really.) The one funny bit in the book is the story about how the band got its name and that shows up on the very first page and that, for me was it.

Reviewed by Andi Shechter, March 2007

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Contact: Yvonne Klein (ymk@reviewingtheevidence.com)


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