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Magdalena Yoder is the owner of the very successful PennDutch Inn located in Hernia, Pennsylvania. Many Hollywood stars have stayed at the Inn including Babs and Brolin, Brad and Jennifer, Mel and his wife, and even Julia. The book starts as Magdalena is eagerly waiting for George Clooney to walk through the door. George had reserved the entire Inn for him and his entourage. Needless to say that when the Lurch look-alike driver lets Colonel Custard and his cook out of the stretch limousine and into the premises instead of George, Magdalena is more than just a tad disappointed. The colonel even admitted to using George's name so he could rent the Inn. Then again, money is money, and Magdalena didn't become the richest person in Hernia by turning cash away from her door. The fact that the good Colonel was also very charming and handsome - not that Mags would ever think about being with another man instead of her finance, Gabe (the babe) Rosen - didn't hurt either. Magdalena has done many things that are considered strange by her Amish and Mennonite neighbors like marrying a man who was already married, buying a big red, fancy car, and now becoming engaged to a Jewish man from New York City. Yes, Hernia has lots to talk about when it comes to Mags. Another interesting thing about the PennDutch Inn is that it has seen its fair share of murdered people. That list of people will soon include Colonel Custard. Colonel Custard has come to Hernia to build a big hotel that will bring in a bushel full of high class tourists to the small PennDutch community, and not everyone in the town is happy about that. Magdalena, for one, fears that the Colonel's new hotel will take away business from her own, most successful business in town, The PennDutch Inn. Alas, Colonel Custard is found dead with a bullet hole in his head. The medical examiner also noticed that the Colonel had a few ribs cracked, which lead him to believe that someone squeezed the Colonel a little too tightly. So of course, it's up to Mags to find the murderer since the Mayor and Chief Of Police of the town, Melvin Stoltzfus, who is also Mags' brother in law, is a little too preoccupied with trying to be elected to the legislature to find out who killed the Colonel. Thus begins another murder mystery, one of many, in the small Pennsylvania Dutch Town of Hernia. Tamar Myers brings back her heroine, Magdalena Yoder, Mags' sister Susannah, Susannah's husband Melvin, Mags' new Jewish fiancé Gabe Rosen, her step daughter Alison, and the rest of the strange members in the community of Hernia. Once again we see Magdalena doing her favorite form of exercise, jumping to conclusions. She also wails all the time about everything, insists that she is a pious woman who, because she is so successful a business woman and so thoughtful of heaven, can afford to, on occasion, cross the rules that most Mennonite people have to follow. Oh yes, and her dead mother has started to show up quite a bit to help solve the latest murder and give Magdalena some well deserved advice. To tell the truth, to this Magdalena Yoder fan, it's all getting a little tired. I used to like the Magdalena Yoder series but, as of late, each book now seems to be the same old thing. Susannah (and the dog who lives in her bra argues with Mags about her husband Melvin, who always ends up accusing Mags of being the murderer, and Magdalena always solves the mystery. I never saw a small community filled with so many murderers. CUSTARD'S LAST STAND has some nice custard recipes in it but I honestly didn't care who killed the colonel or why. Most of the book was Mags interviewing the members of the community and wailing a lot. Oh yeah, keep an eye out for the 25 foot 250 pound snake that seems to be hugging everyone. No, I don't know why a snake was even in the story. I think it's time for Myers, who really is a good writer and very humorous, to stay away from Hernia for a little while and go back to her "Den of Antiquity Mystery" series - or maybe start a new one.
Reviewed by Sharon Katz, December 2002
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